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Posts tagged ‘inspiration’

I Ran Long

This past Saturday, I ran long. Not long as in 15+ miles long, but long as in my new definition of long. Saturday morning I successfully ran 8 miles, my longest run since surgery, and it sucked. But was great, all at the same time.

Due to my paranoia about running on slanted sidewalks right now, I’m keeping most of my runs indoors. For all the miles that I run, I stare at a blank wall about 4 feet in front of me. (I’m working on my mental fortitude.) Before I headed upstairs Saturday morning to stare at this blank wall, I decided to meditate. I’m horrible about meditating on my own so I prefer to listen to a guided meditation. The meditation that I chose to listen to Saturday morning was about gratitude, and I thought it would be the perfect way to start the morning. During those 15 minutes, I practiced gratitude for many people, but I also made a point to be grateful for running. Right now I have a love/hate relationship with running. I love it because I love running and have for many years. I hate it because right now it is hard! My legs ache, my hips are stiff, and I can’t run as fast as I once could. But on Saturday morning, I took time to be thankful for this sport, no matter how easy it once was or how hard it has now become. I do still love it.

Eight miles on a treadmill used to be nothing, especially at an easy pace. Now it is a mental and physical battle to watch the miles go by, while staring at a slightly too close white wall. I decided to break my run up into 2-4 mile segments. Run the first 4 miles in my new pair of Zoots (thanks to the awesome new running store, Runologie, opening up next month), and the last 4 miles in my Brooks. The first four miles went by ok but then I thought to myself, how the hell am I going to make it 4 more miles? Thankfully, I had a few ideas to help me along the way. First, cover up the numbers on the display. Nothing makes a run seem like an eternity than watching the numbers slowly tick by. Second, play bad ass music kinda loud. (Thank you Eminem and Maroon 5 for helping me along.) And third, practice gratitude. Like I mentioned, I have a love/hate relationship with running right now. But as hard as running is for me, I still love it. I took the time during those last 4 miles to just be thankful that I was able to run at all. Fast, slow, easy, hard – it doesn’t matter. I was still doing the one thing that has made me feel “me” for so long and for that, I was thankful.

As I’ve started to run more miles and longer distances these past few weeks, I’ve come to realize something. Once again in my life, I am a newbie runner. If you had asked me 8 months ago about running being easy or hard, I would have declared easy! And then tried to understand why it is some people don’t like running. For so long, I’ve taken running for granted and thought it was something that just came easily to me. I forgot what it was long to be a new runner. Now I am reminded of just how difficult it can be, and it gives me a deep understanding and respect for those just starting out on their own running journey. If I could offer one piece of advice to those just starting out, it would be perserverance. It is the one thing that is helping me through all of this.

Two Saturdays ago when I was out for my first 7 mile run, the last 3.5 miles were so hard. I wanted to stop. I wanted to walk. I wondered if I was ever going to make it back to my car. Then I started thinking about my husband, who has a mental fortitude like no one I have ever known. (For example, he ran 35 of the 200 miles in relay event a month ago, with only having a few long runs of 8 miles and a weekly mileage topping out at 12.) I remember he told me a few weeks ago Once I make my mind up to do something, I just do it. That’s what it’s going to take to get me back. A decision to just keep going, no matter how difficult, how slow, or how uncomfortable. In the end, that is what is going to make the difference for me – a new level of mental toughness and a new willingness to just keep going, no matter the obstacle.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,

Tracie

Baby Update: I’m a little over 16 weeks and feeling good. We had a doc appointment on Tuesday and all went well. We find out if it’s a boy or girl on December 9th, but I’m not telling anyone until Christmas. Sorry Mom, Dad, and Toni. 🙂

My first 7 mile run

8 miles on the treadmill

My Return to Running

Running has been a part of who I am for so long that I’ve forgotten how hard it was when I first started out, 13+ years ago. As I have made my way back outdoors, almost 5 months post surgery, I have just assumed that the miles would come back easily. My hip no longer bothers me and for some reason, I just thought my speed and distance would still be there. I am very, very wrong.

My first run outside was the first week in September. We were in Miami and since there was no treadmill, I knew it was time to take my running to the road. It was hard. Like really hard. My pace was around 10:00 min/mile and I couldn’t get my legs to turnover any faster. Not to mention the Miami humidity wasn’t helping. I made it 4 miles and I couldn’t believe how “far” that felt. My legs felt rusty and it was almost like I was having to learn how to run all over again. To say I was feeling frustrated would be an understatement.

When we finally made it back to Raleigh, I started trying out some of my old running routes. I went out to the greenway, ran along Hillsborough Street, but no matter how fast I felt like I was running, my pace was always around 8:45 – 9:15 min/mile. That’s about one minute slower than my previous average easy pace, and yet it was still an effort to run that. I thought I had done a decent job of keeping up my cardiovascular fitness, but I underestimated what four months off from running can do to the body.

This morning I decided to head out to the Tobacco Trail. The Tobacco Trail is where I always did my Saturday long runs, and I’ve really missed being out there. It really is one of my favorite places to run. I told myself I would run anywhere from 6-7 miles, depending on how I felt. When I think about my old running self, that seems so short and like an “easy” run. Well I have quickly learned that it does no good to think in terms of my old running self. That is not who I am or where I am right now. I managed to make it 6.5 miles and then walked .5 miles, mainly because my stomach wasn’t feeling so great. My average pace was 9:09 and my legs and arms are actually quite sore from the run. Oh how things change.

Even though I’m slower than I once was and can’t run quite as far as I once did, being outside at the Tobacco Trail this morning made me really happy. It was so nice to be outdoors with the all of the other runners, and I got to see some running friends out there who I haven’t seen in quite a while. And even though I feel like I ran 15 miles instead of 6.5, I realize how much I’ve missed that feeling. I’ve missed the Saturday morning running routine, the post run turkey burger at out favorite restaurant, and the nap that always followed.

My doctor told me it would be six months to a year before I could run again. Today marks 4 months and 19 days. Sure, I’m only up to running 6.5 miles at a pace that I’m not quite accustomed to. But that’s okay. I’m not the runner I was earlier this year but that doesn’t mean that runner (or a better one) isn’t in my future. Today I think I finally internalized what a long process all of this is going to be. It makes me appreciate running much more than I ever have before.

I look forward to what the future has in store.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,
Tracie

Eight Months from Now… Boston, 2015

Bravery is a word being repeated over and over again, and very loudly, in my head as of lately. These past few months have left me feeling stuck, uncertain, and at an uncomfortable place in my life. As I stood at the Eminem concert Saturday night, attempting to rap the lyrics, I became overwhelmed with a profound understanding as to just why I loved him so much as an artist, a a rapper, and as a person. There are few people in this world who have been through all that he has and come out on the better side of it. There are few people in this world who have demonstrated the grit, the determination, and courage that he has throughout his life and for those reasons, I have respect for what he represents as a human being. I want to represent those qualities.

The following night after the concert I had two very vivid dreams. One involving a flood and the other involving snakes, in that order. After a quick google search of the meanings of these dreams it seems that a flood can represent an overwhelming issue while snakes can represent a healing process. As I watched Eminem perform on Saturday that’s exactly how I felt. Overwhelmed with the past few months and done with feeling sorry for myself. There is nothing better than an Eminem song to make you realize it’s time to pick your ass up and move on. That’s how I felt then and I feel even stronger about it now.

September 12 is the day I can register for Boston. I’ve beat my qualifying time by 9 minutes and I know that my third chance awaits me. I met with my very aggressive, heavy handed, painful (but in a good way) sports massage therapist today and we discussed the possibility of running Boston. He says go for it, provided I have a plan and a coach to keep me in check. (Left to my own training plan, I might give myself a second hip fracture. I’m that hard headed.) I want to do it. I want to do it so badly it has become a constant thought in the back of my head. I know people think I shouldn’t do it and considering what has happened over these last few months, it doesn’t really make sense for me to do it. But do things always have to make sense? I think about all the times someone must have told Eminem he was crazy or out of his league, and he just kept on doing his thing. Following his path and his dream. I want to be that person too.

Tomorrow marks 8 months from the next Patriot’s Day. I have three weeks to decide if I’m going to sign up but I can already tell you my heart says yes. I want to do this. I want this to be my comeback story. Of course I realize that it may not be and that I may never make it to that start line, but I’ll be damned if I don’t give it a shot. I have to be brave enough to follow my dreams, my heart, and my path, wherever that may take me. I have to have the grit, determination, and courage to give it all that I have, because it’s going to take exactly that. And I’m ready for it.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,

Tracie

 

There Are No Wrong Turns

I’m a Taurus and so is my husband. It’s the perfect zodiac sign for me and if you’re unfamiliar with the character traits of a Taurus, allow me to share the following, as it is relevant to this post:

“Taurus are not fond of change. In fact, if change is imminent, they get very nervous and worried. They do not like anything new because anything new is unknown and Taurus fears the unknown. Taurus needs order in their lives and when they do not have order, they get very anxious. Taurus will cut themselves off from the unfamiliar in order to avoid the feelings of insecurity that arise when new experiences and situations are present.”

Yep, that’s about right. Change up my routine and I might freak out.

Last week I wrote that I was a lazy ass who needed to step away from cardio and embrace a little strength training. Lucky for me, the Universe decided to see how serious I was about that statement and on Friday, my lovely friend Susan invited me to hot yoga on Saturday morning. Saturday morning!?!? That’s my long cardio day! When I got her message, my lizard brain kicked in. The part of my brain that hates change and risk. The part of my brain that, as Seth Godin puts it, is the resistance that says back off, go slow, compromise. Immediately I started rationalizing in my head how I couldn’t miss my bike ride and elliptical “run”. Saturdays are meant for long hours of sweating.

Seriously? Was I really still making excuses to do 2 hours of cardio after I JUST said I needed to do the exact opposite? Here was my opportunity and I was already trying to shut it down. Perhaps it is the Taurus in me.

Luckily, I made myself commit to Susan before I could talk myself out of it. Then I immediately signed up online and paid for the class in advance. That way there was no chance of me backing out. Saturday morning came and at 7:50 am, I was on my mat, ready to go.

Hot yoga and I go way back. There was a time when I did Bikram religiously for a year. I loved the discipline, the difficulty, and the structure of the class. When I got to class Saturday morning, I had in my mind that all would be fine. I was a former Bikram student who was pretty decent at the poses and could by all means handle the heat. Oh how life has a sense of humor sometimes. You see a lot of things have changed since then. One, I haven’t been to hot yoga in years and two, I now have hardware inside my body. In particular, a screw that I feel jabbing me in the hip joint with just about every step I take. And add to that a left leg that wobbles like jelly because the cut muscles have yet to heal completely. My visions of graceful transitions and smooth warrior poses went out the window with my first attempt at chaturanga, downward dog, hop forward, forward bend. I am not the yoga student I once was and it was a hard reality check 10 minutes into class.

There came a point in class, perhaps while I was shaking uncontrollably in warrior 3, when it occurred to me that I should stop fighting myself. I should stop comparing my poses to the girl in front of me and I should stop being upset with myself that I didn’t have the flexibility or range of motion that I once did. I felt like I was trying to be someone I wasn’t and it was exhausting. I was fighting my current place in this world, the current condition of my body, and there was really no point to it. Why was I spending so much mental energy thinking about how I used to be so much better? That serves no purpose.

Then at the very end of class, the instructor read the following passage:

“There are no wrong turns, only paths we didn’t know we were meant to walk. In the end, to be a success you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to remain perfectly capable of improving. Keep letting your mistakes strengthen you. Life is a series of little journeys. Allow each step to be a teachable moment. And don’t confuse your path with your destination. Just because it’s stormy sometimes doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine.”

There is a part of me that is still fighting my hip and my body. Every time I take a step, I feel the constant reminder of my 2014 Boston  Marathon experience. And ever since I started running again, just about every day has been an emotional roller coaster. But I’m glad I switched up my routine Saturday morning. I’m glad I went to that yoga class and realized how much I was fighting myself and my body. But above all, I’m thankful for those words shared by the instructor at the end of class. They were the perfect words at the perfect moment. This is my path right now but I know my destination is sunshine.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,
Tracie

PS: I ran my second full mile on Sunday. It was slightly less painful and 10 seconds faster.

A Paint By Numbers Life

The art of telling a good story is a true gift. To relive a personal experience in front of a group of people while being vulnerable isn’t for everyone.  Add to that a story with fluidity, emotions, and a life lesson and you’ve got yourself a special person. Perhaps that is why I like The Moth podcast so much.

I first listened to The Moth a few years ago but for some reason or another, I did not subscribe to it. Last week I revisited the podcast and have since gained a new appreciation for story telling. As I rode with Mario to The Parlour in Durham yesterday (amazing ice cream by the way!), we heard stories of a young girl fleeing Afghanistan to come to America, a 16 year old teenager taking her brother to the 1983 All Star baseball game with practically no money, and a crazy journalist tagging along with a group of herpetologists in search of a 22 foot python. We laughed, I cried (good stories do that to me), and we were left with a few life lessons to think about. What it means to live in the moment, to be adventurous, and to live a paint by numbers life. I love good stories.

Last night as we finished our second episode of House of Cards, the lifestyle of Frank Underwood brought us to the discussion of what it means to lead a paint by numbers life. I haven’t seen a paint by numbers kit since I was about 10 years old and Mario has never seen one. Apparently they don’t exist in Cuba. In trying to explain this ready made picture with predetermined colors, the image of what Tom Bodette was trying to explain in his story became very clear.  A cookie cutter type lifestyle lacking novelty, straying from adventure, and more of the same, day after day, week after week. That is something I never want.

Today I started with my own little dose of “adventure” and although it was nothing grand, it was a big step for me. As I mentioned last week, I recently switched gym memberships so I could start swimming. (I see an Ironman in my future, even though it’s a very distant, distant future.) Unfortunately parking isn’t the easiest to come by at a college campus gym and it usually results in a parking ticket or a $4 charge for the parking deck. Solution? Bike there! Now I still don’t own a bike so I rented one for a week. I needed to know if I was okay with biking alongside cars. Saturday morning, bright and early, I tried my route before there was any traffic. Last night I packed a backpack with my swimming gear and told myself no matter what, I was biking to that darn gym. Sure, it’s not far and biking isn’t a big deal. But I’m slightly terrified of getting hit by a car, my hip is still a little tricky when I stop and go, and the rental bike is only a single speed. It makes for an excellent quad burn on any type of incline.

I actually had dreams about biking to the gym. That’s how nervous I was. But I told myself biking, swimming, triathlons – these are all things I’ve wanted for a long time and the only way to start is by biking the 1.5 miles to the gym, swimming, and then biking home. When I finally made it back home and Mario met me at the door, I greeted him by saying “I didn’t die!”. And I didn’t. I didn’t get hit by a car, nobody laughed at my stellar swimming technique, and I even passed the guy in the lane next to me. It was such a small feat and a simple workout, but it left me feeling all sorts of excitement. I ventured away from my hour of intervals on the elliptical, my pre-determined paint by numbers workout, and tried something a little outside of my comfort zone. It made my Monday morning amazing.

I’ve never thought of myself as living a paint by numbers lifestyle but I see how it happens. Today was another step in the direction of making sure that I always try to add a little adventure along my path.

Maybe I should get a bike like this!!

Maybe I should get a bike like this!!

Happy Trails and Happy Running,
Tracie

Injury Update: According to my doc, I can start working back into a running routine this week!!! I’m nervous and my hip still feels a little weak so I will see how it goes with my PT on Wednesday. Perhaps I will wait another week or two. It’s crazy to think about where I was two months ago and where I am today. Life just keeps on going. 🙂

 

Be Nice to Strangers

I can’t write about running right now. It’s unfortunate but it gives me an opportunity to write about other things. Today’s post – a life post.

Age 21, year 2004
It was my favorite post long run ritual. Run XX miles, nap, go get a really large coffee drink, and then go to work. I could tell you everyone’s story at Gloria Jean’s Coffee. I asked. I knew their names, their weekend plans, and a thing or two about their family. I always smiled at them and 9 out of 10 times, I never paid for anything. Although it was never my objective to get free drinks, it just happened. Strangers who made a connection at the mall and my dear friend and coworker was always amazed. How do you do it? she would ask.

Simple, I responded. Care. 

Age 31, year 2014

Today I ventured into Starbucks to do a little work. One of my favorite songs was playing and the barista was jamming along. Singing, dancing, and having more fun than most people would while making drinks. I may or may not have done my own little dance too while waiting for my drink. I told the barista how much I enjoyed his dancing. His response? Oh, have you tried the new fizzio? I’ll make you one. And he did. It was delicious.

I love people. All sorts of people. It fascinates me to think that there are over 7 billion unique stories in the world and every time I meet a stranger is another opportunity to be a part of one of those stories. Over the years, I have found the incredible importance of a genuine smile and a kind word. When you take notice of someone else, step outside of your own world, and make the effort to connect, you break down the invisible wall that exists between you and your fellow human being. And in return, a whole new world opens up. One of loving compassion that shows you how awesome human beings really are. Just as you are trying to find your way in this world, so too is every one else. We are not the strangers we think we are.

Make a new friend today. Be a part of someone else’s story.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,

Tracie

Injury Update: According to my doc, I can start working back into a running routine next week. I have to be honest, I’m slightly terrified. I try jogging around the house and the result? Serious aching in my bones caused by that damn screw in my hip. My recovery has gone fairly well. However, I believe when I attempt to start running again, it’s going to be way harder than I ever thought. Oh well. One step at a time, right?

Patience

There was a time, and it really wasn’t that long ago, that I lay in my hospital bed throbbing in pain, pretty hopeless, and certain I would not set foot on my favorite running paths for at least six months. It was a time that I can still remember so vividly, but yet it seems like a lifetime ago. At the time I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see recovery and I couldn’t see the silver lining. Instead my mind wandered off to the bad things. All fitness would be lost, I would never be able to do the one thing I love so dearly ever again, and my exercise would take place inside a gym, one of my least favorite places.

During one of my many afternoons on the couch, I watched a Usain Bolt documentary. (I totally recommend it by the way.) At the end, a song came on and it immediately gave me goosebumps. I went to download it right away. The song is by Sean Paul and it is called “Hold On“. The verse that spoke to me the most goes like this:

“Although the road is long, we still hold on.
We carry on on, we still stay strong.
Today is long but tomorrow will come.
Hold on. Hold on now.”

I decided from that point that, that would be my philosophy.

Yesterday I was having a pretty kick ass workout at the gym and the song came on my iPod. Right then and there, during the middle of my tabata session, I had to reflect. I started thinking about where I was 7 weeks ago and where I am today. From a walker and shots in my stomach to 95% healed and the promise of running just three weeks away. My outlook is completely different. It has been a long road and there were many long days. But my tomorrow finally got here and I know there will be another tomorrow that is even better.

The mind chatter and the things we tell ourselves every day have a huge impact on where we go in life. Along with that, when we are in a not so great place and our patience is thin, we only add to the suffering. The 13th century Persian poet Rumi wrote that “Patience is the key to joy”. And when we are patient, our results are immediate.

Be patient with yourself. And no matter how long today is, tomorrow will get here. Eventually.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,
Tracie

Injury Update: I had a follow up appointment Monday with my doctor. According to my X-ray. I’m about 95% healed and in the 99th percentile as far as the healing process goes. At one point he just started laughing and said I was so far ahead of most people who had this surgery and if I wanted to run Boston next year, it was totally doable. (Don’t worry, I’m not putting that on my calendar just yet.) And the best news was that I could ease myself back into running in about 3 weeks. Only with a mile or two, but at least it’s something!
 

IMG_6077

 

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Why I Do What I Do

This has been a big week for me. In fact, I’ve been waiting for this week since May 12th. Two weeks ago my doctor told me I could start biking and swimming on May 26th and that day couldn’t get here soon enough. I can honestly say that I have never been happier to sit indoors on a stationary bike. Then today my PT gave me even more great news. I am clear to start practicing yoga AND using the elliptical. Then as I did my single leg dead lifts, he told me he couldn’t even tell which leg was the bad leg. In my mind, I put a gold star beside my name. What did I do to deserve such great news? I guess my efforts to be the best physical therapy patient are starting to pay off.

I like to reflect and yesterday after my bike session (that may have included an interval or 10), I started pondering why it is I like exercise so much. Yes, I like being healthy and I think an active lifestyle is important but I feel like there is something more to it than that. I mean, as soon as I had permission to start doing pushups, I couldn’t get down on the ground fast enough. A lot of people aren’t like that. As I was walking around town this afternoon, a story I heard on the Rich Roll Podcast made it all click, and I finally understood why it is I like pushing my body so much. Rich Roll was talking about how athletes don’t think, they just do. They live in the moment and their bodies know exactly what to do and when to do it. *Lightbulb moment*  That is exactly why I like to run, bike, do the elliptical, run stairs, do tabata intervals of pushups, etc.…. because it forces me to be in the now. There is no moment when I am more fully present than when I am running (or biking, etc.) During 20 mile long runs, rarely does my mind drift and I like it that way. When I’m doing tabata intervals on the bike, it’s impossible to be thinking about anything else. My body demands that my brain is fully present. It is my version of mindfulness.

In my earlier workouts years, I tried to read a magazine while on the bike or elliptical. The result? A really gross, sweaty copy of SHAPE magazine. And I never made it past the first paragraph of any story. To this day, I still don’t understand how people read and workout at the same time. I can’t even watch tv. But that’s just me. I like to be fully present of everything I’m doing, from speed to resistance to intensity. Sometimes I go too far and I understand that. But any athlete will tell you, there is a fine line that exists between training hard enough and training too hard. How else do you find your limits?

As I return to the world of working out, many people are telling me to take it easy, and I am very grateful for the people who care so much about my wellbeing. Yes, I know I can be a borderline workout maniac but under no circumstances will I put my hip in jeopardy. This entire ordeal has been a tough, learning experience, and I never want to go through it again. However, I will still push myself. I will still work for a decent sweat and an elevated heart rate. I have to. It’s what forces me to be in the moment. It’s my version of meditation.

On another note, today marks four weeks since my surgery. I still can’t believe all that has changed. That day in the hospital seems so long ago.

April 30th, right after I got out of surgery

April 30th, right after I got out of surgery

 

May 28th, four weeks later

May 28th, four weeks later

 

Happy Trails and Happy Running,
Tracie

 

(The feature image is from last week… after much practice I was finally able to sit back on my feet. I was way too excited!)

The World is What we Create

I’ve been struggling with what to write about today. It’s been a few days since I posted and I’ve had a hard coming up with something of value to say. That was until earlier today. And it has absolutely nothing to do with running and only a small percentage to do with my injury.

This morning I woke up and decided to check the news. It’s not something I normally do, primarily because I don’t want to let negativity into my mind. If I don’t have negative thoughts of the world then I can’t spread negative thoughts to the world. At least that is my opinion. When I first checked the local news, I read about a series of shootings in Myrtle Beach. Then I checked CNN and learned for the first time about the mass shootings in California. My heart became heavier and heavier as I read through the tragic events of Friday night. As I drove to the grocery store, I cried just thinking about all of the pain and sadness that exists in our world. Why are some people so angry? So sad? So mean?

Then I came home and checked the mail.

When I opened the mail, I had a very interesting envelope and I wasn’t quite sure who it was from. Inside of the envelope there was another envelope and a card. The envelope was covered in inspirational quotes and as I read every single word, I was completely overwhelmed. Not only did every single word on that envelope speak to my heart, but the fact that a friend who I haven’t seen or talked to in a few years, had taken the time to do something so kind, reminded me that the world is good. Then I started thinking about all of the other people who had reached out to me during this hard time, people who I don’t see or talk to that often. Just last week I received an extremely kind and heart warming card from my former dance teacher. It was totally unexpected but it made me so happy. Then I realized that because these people had done something so kind for me, I wanted to share that feeling of happiness with others. I want to do more good because of them. I want to take the compassion and kindness that has been shown to me and pay it forward. Then I had another thought relating back to earlier in the day… the world is what we create. 

 

How awesome is this??

How awesome is this??

I believe in energies. I believe some people emit positive energies and some people emit negative energies. I also believe that our world is a balance, yin and yang. However, if our only thoughts are negative, if we stop believing in the good of people and humanity, if we talk badly about our neighbor, if we can’t have compassion for the stranger on the street, if we can’t slow down long enough to realize we are all human beings who want to belong and to be loved, then we are creating a world with little hope. That is our doing. But if we can have compassion for all, do a random act of kindness for the stranger down the street, spread a little love, and start filling our head with good thoughts, then we are creating a world full of hope. That also, is our doing.

I choose to believe in goodness. I choose to believe that humanity is good and the world is full of hope. This morning, as I was struggling to comprehend what happened Friday night, a letter from a person who I haven’t seen in years, reminded me that kindness exists all around us. That is a reminder we all need.

Let’s create a better world. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. What the mind believes is what will come to pass. Believe in something better for humanity.

Thank you to everyone who has shown me so much love and support during this past month. I am forever grateful for your kindness and I will do my best to pass it along.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,
Tracie

My Beliefs Matter, Not Yours

A few days ago my mother-in-law told me I had mucha voluntad. If you don’t speak Spanish, that means I have a lot of will power, persistence, and tenacity. I took it as a compliment and used those words to continue pushing myself forward. I believe that I will return to running, just as I was able to a few months ago, with all of my mind, body, and soul.

However… several times throughout this past week, people have questioned whether or not I would be able to return to running. They told me they always knew running was bad and maybe now I’ll do something else. I don’t get mad often. That makes my blood boil. Slightly.

Today I was having a rough day. I don’t like walking with a limp and it’s hard. It hurts. I miss my normal movement patterns. And I absolutely hate feeling that screw poking through my skin. It’s so damn awkward. Then I made the mistake of looking up hip fracture/titanium rod and screws/running/recovery on Google. I didn’t read a lot of great recovery stories. In fact, I read quite the opposite. Add to that, I read over and over again that I might need to check myself into a nursing home for a month or two. I guess displaced hip fractures aren’t common for 31 year old females.

I realized this afternoon that I should never search those words again. It only added doubt to my mind and sadness to my runner’s soul. A few too many hip fracture articles later, I realized that I don’t care what everyone else says. I don’t care if people think I will never run again. What other people think is not my business. I don’t even care if most people never return to normal running after a surgery like this. That is not my story. If I surround myself with doubt, I will begin to doubt myself. I will not do that.

Nothing that I read, nothing that anyone says to me, and nothing that other people may use to discourage me, will change my mind. I wholeheartedly believe it’s the mind that matters and the attitude I choose, that will make the difference. It doesn’t matter to me what anyone else says. I can do whatever I want.

Have you ever heard of Amy Purdy? Or have you ever see this movie, based on a true story? That’s going to be me. I choose voluntad.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,
Tracie