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My Beliefs Matter, Not Yours

A few days ago my mother-in-law told me I had mucha voluntad. If you don’t speak Spanish, that means I have a lot of will power, persistence, and tenacity. I took it as a compliment and used those words to continue pushing myself forward. I believe that I will return to running, just as I was able to a few months ago, with all of my mind, body, and soul.

However… several times throughout this past week, people have questioned whether or not I would be able to return to running. They told me they always knew running was bad and maybe now I’ll do something else. I don’t get mad often. That makes my blood boil. Slightly.

Today I was having a rough day. I don’t like walking with a limp and it’s hard. It hurts. I miss my normal movement patterns. And I absolutely hate feeling that screw poking through my skin. It’s so damn awkward. Then I made the mistake of looking up hip fracture/titanium rod and screws/running/recovery on Google. I didn’t read a lot of great recovery stories. In fact, I read quite the opposite. Add to that, I read over and over again that I might need to check myself into a nursing home for a month or two. I guess displaced hip fractures aren’t common for 31 year old females.

I realized this afternoon that I should never search those words again. It only added doubt to my mind and sadness to my runner’s soul. A few too many hip fracture articles later, I realized that I don’t care what everyone else says. I don’t care if people think I will never run again. What other people think is not my business. I don’t even care if most people never return to normal running after a surgery like this. That is not my story. If I surround myself with doubt, I will begin to doubt myself. I will not do that.

Nothing that I read, nothing that anyone says to me, and nothing that other people may use to discourage me, will change my mind. I wholeheartedly believe it’s the mind that matters and the attitude I choose, that will make the difference. It doesn’t matter to me what anyone else says. I can do whatever I want.

Have you ever heard of Amy Purdy? Or have you ever see this movie, based on a true story? That’s going to be me. I choose voluntad.

Happy Trails and Happy Running,
Tracie

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