One Month Post Boston
Time flies. It really does. And at the same time, so much can happen in such a short amount of time. I guess that means life passes by pretty quickly too. Must. Get. Busy.
One month ago today, I woke up with excitement, hope, and determination. I woke up with plans to do the thing that I had spent the last four months of my life training for. It was a beautiful day and I knew I would end that day with a medal around my neck and pride across my face. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
A lot has happened since then and a lot has changed. This is what one month injured, in the hospital, and on the mend have taught me:
1) Shitty things happen. I get to choose how I’m going to deal with them.
2) Will power is an incredible resource. Every day I get to decide how I’m going to help myself.
3) Perspective changes. If you had told me six weeks ago I wouldn’t be running for six months, I would have thought the world were coming to an end. Now I realize it’s not that bad.
4) A healthy body matters. My recovery is going incredibly well. The doc and PT say my active lifestyle and health have made a big difference.
5) Everything changes. From health and fitness to hospital beds and walkers, nothing stays the same. This too shall pass.
6) Pain is temporary. The pain I felt that Monday afternoon and the pain I felt after my surgery were immense. Now it’s all just a distant memory.
7) Things change (and many times, it’s not your decision). I had big plans after Boston and for the 2015 race. I’ve since had to readjust and I’m okay with that.
8) The race is long. That one day in Boston I thought I would finally have my chance to prove myself as a runner. It didn’t happen, but I know it wasn’t my last chance. Another opportunity awaits me.
9) My can’ts have become my can’s. Before my surgery there were many things I thought I couldn’t do. Or I wouldn’t do. Now that I don’t have an option, I know that I can.
10) Life goes on. The world did not stop for my suffering and neither did my life. The days continue and what was once so vivid and painful, grows fainter and fainter with each new day.
I am grateful for everything that has happened to me. It has put me on a different path for now, and that’s okay. I’m learning to venture out of my running comfort zone, to do things other than exercise like a crazy lady, and to appreciate the fact that every day I have a choice. Every day, I get to choose to be happy, choose to be determined, and choose to embrace my suffering. Having part of my identity taken away is hard but it’s as hard as I let it be. But perhaps the thing I am most grateful for is the fact that I finally feel like my hips are fixed. For so long I’ve been off balance and out of whack, which caused so many of my injuries. Now I can finally feel what it’s like to stand evenly on two feet. It’s actually quite amazing. Perhaps the pain caused by this injury today is what will help me to find my place in the future.
It’s all up to me.
Happy Trails and Happy Running,
(PS: One week from today I get to start exercising again. This has been my longest break from exercise since I was in high school. I wonder what next Monday will have in store for me.)